When God was calling us to adopt the first time (and again, the second time so quickly after the first time), the title of this blog post was my initial question back to Him:

“But how in the world will we be able to afford this adoption?”

From some initial research, I became a little mind blown that some adoption fees cost more than some people make in a year, and I just couldn’t wrap my brain around:

1. WHY it costs so much
2. HOW people could afford it.

But I knew so many people DID find ways to make it happen and instead of wondering how all the pieces would fall into place, I simply decided to walk in faith when the Lord responded:

“Trust me.”

Like Mary, who would never quite be able to wrap her brain around the whole Immaculate Conception thing, I tried to be willing enough to respond similarly with “Ok, Lord, I may not be able to understand all the how and why, but I am a servant of the Lord, so if this is the path You have been waiting for me to say yes to to become a mother, then I trust You.”

I had heard most people had to wait two years on a waiting list to get matched with a birthmom, so I figured, at least we had plenty of time to start saving. But then, a quick two months later, our birth parents chose us, and a quicker 7 months later our baby was due (which got cut short by another month when our daughter arrived early.)

Instead of panicking at the short amount of time ahead of us to raise this money (and you can imagine the same panic that wanted to arise when we heard baby brother was on the way before my first was even a year old), I kept choosing to walk by faith, because after all, that was the very meaning of the name I had been praying for 5 years.  And I reached out to so many others who had adopted who spoke life into our journey by saying “God has a special place in His heart for adoption.  He will provide.”  And that… He did.

In a previous blog entry, I went into depth about some of the resources we tapped into to cover our adoption fees, but today I wanted to share about something new I discovered that I wish I had known about prior during our adoption journey.

Think crowdfunding meets adoption!  There is now a website called AdoptTogether to help families raise money for adoptions where the crowdfunded donations are are also a tax write off (something I got asked a lot during our own fundraising process that people would have liked the option to have but a different site I used back then did not provide unfortunately)! What a brilliant idea to help it be win win on both sides! When I discovered this site, I just had to share because I’m passionate about helping others who want to adopt after how grateful I am to all those who helped us adopt, not once, but twice!  And even better about AdoptTogether, I further discovered, one of my favorite movie companies, PureFlix, who provides wholesome and Christian movie entertainment options that my kids now watch, have contributed to AdoptTogether to help make adoptions happen!  PureFlix also has some great movies about adoption (if you haven’t seen October Baby yet, oh my gosh, grab the tissues!)

I always heard parenthood takes a village… And through our journey, I learned adoption truly takes a village too!  Our village so beautifully came together to pray for us, to donate financial resources, to donate baby supplies, to come over and give us meals, other mothers donating breast milk, and so much more.  And I’ve seen the same happen for friends of mine as well as they took their own steps of faith to adopt, and God providing the means to every.single.time.  If you feel God is placing it on your heart to adopt, yet worried how the pieces will fall into place, choose faith over fear.  My babies are living proof that faith wins every time!

My Dearest Bara Faith,

One year ago today you surprised us with an early entrance into this world, and from day 1, you’ve shown me a fighting strength through your tiny 5 pounds 7 ounces that though she may be little, she is fierce.

As we celebrate your first year of life, we are so grateful that your story begins with choosing life.  From the moment God created your life, He has loved you and He has set you apart so that you can fulfill His beautiful plans to be a world changer.  In just one year your life story has already touched so many lives and made so many people cry tears of joy alongside us, and we are so grateful for the circle of love of people all over the world who celebrated with us your arrival into this world. Through their generosity helping us to fund your adoption, through home made gifts, through meals brought over, through breast milk donated by so many loving mommas, I am humbled by the amount of people who have loved you so fiercely through their acts of kindness.

You are everything I never knew I always wanted.  Though you and I share differences, such as different blood, and how you so very vocal while I am so very quiet, I love that we can come together to learn from each other on this journey and allow our different gifts to complement each other’s strengths.  And strength girl, you have that.  You have such a determination and drive that shows me it will carry you far in life.  You are going to be a leader not a follower, I just see it.  When you pull yourself up to stand up, your proud smile radiates from your soul and shows me that you will never let anything stand in the way of accomplishing your dreams.

Sometimes you make an expression that reminds me of your beautiful birthmom, and though I wish it was reflecting my own expression, in those moments I’m reminded of how grateful I am that our Heavenly Father brought an angel into our lives to help heal my broken heart and allow me the honor of becoming a mother. Through tears in my eyes, I will always be grateful for not one, but two of that angel’s heartbeats who she has trusted me with to raise as my own, and both whom I have vowed to love with all my heart.

Bara Faith, you will always be my promised child.  Your life story will always be a reflection of how our God loves to surprise us beyond our wildest imaginations.  And just when all hope feels lost, just when we think He has forgotten us, just when we can’t imagine to wait any longer for our heart’s desires, your life reminds us all that He isn’t finished yet. Jesus always has one more move.  And then sometimes another, as your younger brother’s life forming in the womb right now has shown us all.  What a good good Father we serve. That is the foundation of what your life stands for.  Carry that with you deep inside the core of your confidence as you grow older, because it’s a strength that will never let you down and it will carry you through the challenges you encounter.

A year ago today, I poured tears down my face the first time I saw you because I just couldn’t believe you were here after all these years of waiting.  And now your giggles and smiles brings me so many tears of joy.  As hard as the wait was, you were absolutely worth every second of the wait.

Never forget you are so deeply loved.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!  This is just the beginning….

Love,

Momma

A special thank you to Meredith Black for this joy filled Mommy & Me session.  I am no longer taking on new photo shoots myself anymore as I prepare to welcome on Bara Faith’s baby brother soon, but I highly recommend you using Meredith Black for all your Jacksonville area family portraits.

“And after you suffer for a short time, God, who gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in Christ, a glory that will continue forever.” -1 Peter 5:10

After all the tears I cried for 5 years not being able to conceive my own child, God has now doubled our portion and restored our hearts beyond what we could ever expect through adoption.

We are excited to share that Bara Faith is going to be a big sister!

But no, we are not “that” adoption story where I got miraculously pregnant after adopting. Instead the Lord surprised us in a different way.  Bara Faith’s birthmom is expecting again, and we have the honor of also adopting this new little gift on the way!

Ever since we were dating, Stephen and I have always talked about having two children, a girl and a boy, but after everything we went through to adopt the first time, we were uncertain if we ever would adopt again. Yet… shortly after Bara Faith was born, she was prayed over and prophesied that she wouldn’t be our only child, so I always wondered deep down what God had in store down the road.  And we definitely didn’t expect another child to come along THIS soon, but what a beautiful double blessing it has all become!  As the news began to unfold in our lives, all I have continued to think is that God is completely a God of restoration.

And He is a God of grace.

I always like to challenge Him to speak in these situations when He is calling me to greater faith.  Just as He had given me Bara Faith’s name 5 years before she was born with the promise that He would create a baby girl for me, He had always, since I can remember, placed the name Jackson Ray on my heart should I ever have a boy. Before we found out the gender of this new child, I kept hearing Him tell me that this new child is our Jackson Ray.  Granted, our birthmom was still too early on to know the gender, but from the beginning, we’ve all said we felt this time it was a boy.  Just that gut feeling from the Holy Spirit. But not knowing either way, in the midst of my praying, I decided out of curiosity to look up the meaning of Jackson, because in all these years, I never actually knew the meaning of the name, and I couldn’t help but smile when I found out it means:

“God’s graciousness.”

And Ray, that was always to be named after the middle name of my late father, Johnny Ray. To then I really really smiled when I discovered another meaning of the name Jackson means “Son of John.”

So with that, God spoke, and we moved forward blindly walking in faith yet again.

Then earlier today… we found out the gender. And it indeed was… God’s graciousness.

It IS A BOY on the way!  It’s our Jackson Ray who will be arriving around September 6! And we couldn’t be more thrilled!

God is good all the time and all the time God is good. He always has the bigger picture in mind, He still keeps His promises, and He still speaks today.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. -Ephesians 2:8

Here’s to begin shopping for cute little bow ties and suspenders!