Sunday was one of those amazing family days for my little family. Working from home, I’ve been really trying to consciously not let myself go into my home office on Sundays, or accept photo shoots on Sundays, to take a truly allow myself a day of rest to enjoy this little family we’ve become.  Working from home, it is always tempting to “oh I’ll just go check my email, or do this one thing to cross off my work to do list” that then sucks me in for a few hours instead spending time with my family like I should be on days off or evenings.

And this past Sunday, was the perfect day. We went to church, came home and had lunch, I did a few errands, then ended our night at the beach with our church family singing worship by guitar and watching others get baptized in the ocean. It was a truly joyful day for us.

Then the next day, something happened that immediately tried to rob of us our joy. It was something so minor, something that shouldn’t have been a big deal but turned into one in our heads.  The more we thought and talked about it, the more it festered upsetting us more.  The more we gave into thinking negatively about this molehill it became a mountain. When finally, I had to say to Stephen, “We have a choice here.  We can dwell on this, or we can think about what a beautiful family day we had yesterday, and focus on the joy we felt that day before this other thing happened.”

Because, y’all, joy is a choice.

And God’s word tells us, even in the trials, we have that free choice to still choose joy. “My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need,” it says in James 1:2-4.  Did you see how that equation evolved?  Choosing JOY=PERFECT & COMPLETE in the end.

Though the enemy wants to throw disappointment our way, and surround us in unwanted circumstances, the greatest combat we can do is tell him, “Despite this situation, I’m choosing joy.”  And that means, finding our joy in the Lord because that’s what makes us strong, He tells us in Nehemiah 8:10.  It can be hard to do when you just want to have an ugly cry sometimes, and by all means, sometimes that ugly cry is just needed.  But do it, get it out of your system, then move forward choosing joy even when you don’t feel like it. Because feelings are great followers but terrible leaders, and faith will always steer you in the right direction.

TRUTH TO TUCK IN YOUR HEART:

“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him, and he helps me. I am very happy, and I praise him with my song.” -Psalm 28:7

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:8-9

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13

“Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.” – Psalm 27:6

PUT IT INTO ACTION:

What circumstance are you dwelling on that you should be choosing joy about? What is one baby step you can take to turn your thinking around despite this circumstance?

As we started to move into our farmhouse, I still couldn’t believe how God made it all happen. What seemed like such a far fetched dream getting this home was finally signed sealed and delivered, and I was in a state of bliss so excited to be moving in this dream home. After years of bouncing around from home to home, we finally finally had a place to plant roots, and I couldn’t wait for our daughter on the way at the time to grow up running around this acre and a half as she explored her way through her childhood.

But then a few days after we moved into our farmhouse, my worst nightmare happened. I was unloading the trunk of the car and I heard a rustle in the bushes.  Thinking it was a cute squirrel, I looked at the rustle and froze.  Absolutely froze. My eyes locked eyes on a huge long black snake about 10 feet away from me. My heart began to race in fear that my perfect little dream home was now tainted with a big black ugly snake crawling through our yard. “Oh great,” I said under my breath, “now I have to fear walking around stepping on a snake.”

But then I paused. And I shook my head and I shouted, “NO. NO, I will NOT fear.  I fought too hard for this dream home to live in fear. In the name of Jesus, Satan get thee from me. I know it’s you, just like you appeared to Eve as a snake. You can’t stand that God is being so good to us right now, blessing us with this home, and I will not let you rob my joy! I will NOT live in fear. Flee!”

If my neighbors heard me on the other side of the fence, they have been wondering who their crazy new neighbor was. But I didn’t care. God tells us in Proverbs 18:21, there is power in the tongue, and in Romans 10:17 that faith comes by hearing. And in order to let my faith be bigger than my fear, I needed to hear myself say “I will NOT live in fear”, not just think it.

And the other thing is, though Satan roams around like a thief in the night (John 10:10), God’s word tells us in Luke 10:17, we have the power through Jesus Christ to rebuke the enemy. He tells us in Ephesians 6:16, if we hold up the shield of faith, it WILL stop our enemy.  It will STOP our enemy. It. Will. Stop. Not just our enemy, but our fear as well. So these days, while my fear may still flare up from time to time in different situations that arise, I’m trying to actively choose in those moments to let my faith be bigger than my fear.

In the days since I saw the snake, though I know he may lurk out there, I have had so much more peace knowing he doesn’t have power to make me shake in my boots anymore. And while I was told he was the harmless kind, a snake is a snake, and that didn’t stop me covering the property in moth balls which I was told deters them. I call that faith in action, y’all! And I’m happy to report that I haven’t seen him since those moth balls were put out, praise the Lord! 

TRUTH TO TUCK IN YOUR HEART:

“The Lord is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will exalt Him.” -EXODUS 15:2

“Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear.” -1 JOHN 4:18

“But Jesus quickly spoke to them, “Have courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.” -MATTHEW 14:27

“So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you.” -JAMES 4:7

PUT IT INTO ACTION:

What is your biggest fear? Write it in the comments below, and then write a bible verse to combat it with next time your fear tries to make your heart race. Then memorize it and speak it next time your fear creeps up.

There seems to be a reoccurring theme in my text messages I’ve been receiving lately from my girl friends.

 Wanting what you can’t have.  Or what you don’t have… yet.

In one day, two girl friends blew up my phone after they just wrapped up their individual “ugly cries” for a same struggle, different circumstances.  For both, it was all about a huge yet completely different desire in their hearts, yet, they both had to witness someone else close to them get what they want/long for/are frustrated they don’t have yet.

And boy… do I know this feeling all too well.  If there’s anything infertility struggles will bring to the surface, it’s the jealousy inside you didn’t know you had that rears it’s ugly head and you find yourself bitter going, “Whoa, I just don’t recognize myself.  I don’t *want* to feel this, but… it just feels… so… unfair.”

And that’s what I told my friends in reply to their text messages.  That sometimes in life, that’s what helps us purify our hearts, to just simply get an ugly cry out and say… it’s stinkin’ unfair.

It’s unfair when others get what we want.  It’s unfair we have to wait so long for that thing we desire for so much.  It’s unfair it seems to happen so easily for some.  It’s unfair that we get “stuck” in this circumstance we don’t want to be in.  It’s unfair that others get joy from the very thing that causes us so much pain.  It’s unfair when life doesn’t go how we once dreamed it would.

Yet….

What I also told my friends in reply to their text message is the best piece of advice someone gave me earlier this year…. that as unfair as it all feels in our human frailty and comparison game, we still have a choice to simply celebrate life.  It can be the hardest thing in the world to do when our focus is stuck on the one thing we can’t have, but I’ve learned, when I take a step forward to rejoice for others despite my own current lacking, that’s where I find my strength. Strength in realizing, ok, through God’s supernatural strength, I AM capable of choosing joy over pity parties.

For me personally, I used to avoid all things baby related/pregnant women/unfollow people on Facebook who posted anything related to a sonogram or bump or announcement.  It just stung. Like a knife being twisted… over and over. I really wanted to be that friend who could celebrate with friends, but some days I just wasn’t capable because it just simply hurt too much. I’ve been through my seasons where I pushed away, withdrew, sunk into depression and had many ugly cries.  And instead, looking back, I now realize how much celebrating I was missing out on.

The enemy knows how to dangle in front of us the one thing we can’t have.  He did it to Eve with that dang apple, and he continues to do it us now.  Eve had everything she needed in that garden to live a full life, yet all she could focus on was the one thing God told her not to touch. The one thing she thought she knew better than God, her Creator, that she should have.  There from the very beginning, we learn it’s in our human nature to covet what we can’t have, but that’s exactly what Jesus died for.  To give us freedom to break free from past mistakes, past sin, past failures and instead celebrate life as a new creation through His victory on the cross. To celebrate His everyday victories.  Because when He gives a victory to someone else before we receive ours, it’s still His kingdom victory.  And He wants us to celebrate this beautiful life He died for.

It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I could end my pity party and finally attend baby showers, and wish pregnant women congratulations… genuinely… but I’m here to say, it IS possible, no matter what your circumstance, to be joyful for others who get the things you long for.  It.  Is.  Possible.

Both my friends followed up to tell me they reached out to the people in their own circumstance who got what they wanted to wish them congrats and well wishes, and how much better they felt after doing so once they released the bitterness that consumed their ugly cry earlier in the day. There’s power, and deep breaths, waiting in doing the things we think we can’t… and so much more life and love waiting when we finally leave our pity parties to join another party of celebrating with others instead!

What circumstance in your own world do you need to release bitterness from today?