SOMETIMES GOD SAYS “NO!”

Stephen and I were recently visiting family in Seattle and as part of staying there, we get to see and hang out with our nephews and niece Norah, as pictured above. On our last day, Norah, 3 years old, wanted some cereal, and here’s the dialogue that was exchanged between she and her dad.

“Daddy, I want cereal.”

“No, Norah. We’re out of milk.”

“But Daddy, I SAID I want cereal.”

“And Norah, I SAID there’s no milk.”

Immediately, Norah broke out in tears and pouted and ran to the corner because she didn’t get her way. As my heart broke watching my sweet little niece get sooooo upset over not getting her way, at the same time, I sat there thinking, I’m no different when it comes to my relationship with my Heavenly father. When I ask something from God, and I don’t get it, I throw my own pity party. I pout. I get depressed. I may even break out in tears. Usually, actually, I break out in tears. And the part that frustrates me the most is having to deal with not understanding the “why” behind the “no”, instead of just trusting my Heavenly Father knows best.

The situation with Norah and her dad came following a night where I found out the reason to a “Why not?” that I had been wondering for over 10 years. I went through a situation in my early 20s where I went through a lot of hurt. It wasn’t so much that the hurt came from a person, but it was more my frustration of asking God “WHY NOT?” I hated not knowing the answer why God wasn’t answering a lot of prayers I prayed back then. I had to chalk it up to simply being my life version of Garth Brooks’ song “Unanswered Prayers” and trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it. Sometimes we just have to accept that God not answering a prayer is an answer to prayer in and of itself. He sees the big picture. He wants to protect us. He wants to give us better than our own limited view of what we see in front of us. He wants us to trust that when He doesn’t answer prayers, it’s because He has a reason why, whether or not we ever find out the answer.

Yet, now totally unrelated, I’m back in that place. As I sit here praying for something that feels like is going unanswered, I’m having to trust all over again with every fiber in my being. And it’s killing me. And most days I don’t like it. And I want to pout and cry and go hide in the corner like my little niece. Yet, I then remember I’m 32, not 3, and realize how thankful I am for the grace that God continues to love me despite my own temper tantrums.

May 8, 2013May 24, 2015

HOW TO OVERCOME DOUBTS (OR SO I TRY.)

One thing I struggle with a lot is doubting myself. Such as starting this new blog this week, the nervous part of my gut told me, “Oh gosh, does anyone still care about what I write, am I just wasting my time?” At the same time, I’ve always considered myself a risk taker, yet those risks don’t come without their fair share of doubts. With each new crazy idea I’ve tried to carry out, or get the guts to believe it just might succeed, I am instantly attacked by the all the “what ifs” attached. What if I fail? What if my prayer doesn’t get answered? What if I try and end up looking like a fool? What if I’m not making the right decision? What if? What if? What if?

Are you in that place where you are feeling in the depths of your heart that God is calling you to try something so extraordinary that you know it could only be Him calling you to do it? Are you stopping yourself from moving forward because of the doubts that cloud your head? Are you just darn afraid to take that risk? That next step? That challenge to spill your heart into the fear of the great unknown?

Here’s a few life lessons I’ve learned along the way that I hope can encourage you to move forward with doing the extraordinary.

LESSONS LEARNED:

God calls the ordinary. If all you are hearing in your ear is “Who am I to do something like that?”, then that is not God’s truth. God says “You can” (Phil 4:13). God says “I have called you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24) God says “I have equipped you.” (Exodus 4:13-13-17) God says “You are my child”. (3 John 1:4) God says “Be strong.” (Joshua 1:9)
Sure you might fail, but you just might succeed. One of the greatest gifts my dad left me before he left this earth, was the gift to overcome fears of failure. I love to share the story of when I went to him with a crazy business idea, and explained to him all my fears of failure surrounding it. And in his fatherly wisdom way, he simply responded “Sure… you might fail…. but you just might succeed.” In that moment I suddenly realized I was actually more afraid of succeeding, not failure, because if I wanted to succeed so much, what was stopping me from moving toward that?
Get yourself a cheer squad. I would not be the person I was today if it weren’t for my mom always reminding me to dream big, and that anything was possible. I also wouldn’t have the confidence I have today without my husband constantly reminding me to look at the glass half full instead of the emptiness I naturally see and fight against everyday. And I certainly wouldn’t be as strong in my faith, not only in God, but also in myself, to go after great risks without loving friends who surround me in prayer and a big YOU CAN DO IT turned to a celebration of WOO HOO when it actually happens. I need my cheer squad. I need to be able to lean on their faith in me when I am lacking faith in myself. You need it too. Who are 5 people you can reach out to to ask them to stand in the gap of your faith?
Replace the negative with positive. So often the enemy (usually in the form of critics here on earth) tries to fill my head with negativity that have nothing to do with the path that God has me on. Yet, the enemy is passionate about trying to steer me off that path… and he knows how to do it by attacking my thoughts first. I once read a book by Joyce Meyer called “Battle of the Mind” that I highly recommend, and that’s the bottom line. Our mind is a battlefield where spiritual warfare happens. If Satan can get us to doubt in our thoughts, to dwell on negative lies, to stop reading God’s truth… then he WINS. We must must must stay ingrained in God’s word so that we can counterbalance the negative thoughts that repeat in our head.
Live a life of “I did that!” instead of “What If?” Though it might seem like a long time from now, picture your end days. When you look back on your life, do you want to say “Wow, I had a fulfilling life,” or “Man, I regret not doing more of the things I always wanted to do.” Choose to live a life that has more to list of things you experienced or accomplished rather than a regret list of things you wanted to do. One thing I started recently was composing a list in my iPhone notes called “TO DO/DONE”. In the TO DO section, I have a list of things I would still like to try. It’s not always business related, it’s mostly personal. It’s practical things to aim for like “Watch a drive-in movie” all the way to crazy big ideas like “Own a kangaroo.” Then, I got started on my DONE list, and as I really thought more and more about all the cool things I have done in life, that list far exceeded my TO DO list. On days I feel like my life is so boring, or I’m feeling down and not content or consumed with doubt, I like to look at my DONE list and realize, “I’m so glad I did that!” instead of always wondering “What if?” I never imagined I would see the Sydney Opera House, or scuba dive, or stand on the top of the tallest mountain in Switzerland, or swam in a waterfall, or write a book, or hold a blue butterfly. But I did. They all started as a “what if” that I’m so glad I didn’t let doubt keep it as that. What things need to be on your DONE list that you are letting “What if?” hold you back from accomplishing?

If you haven’t seen it yet, I have a page here on the blog dedicated to providing you inspirational quotes I love that I’ve designed to make it easy to grab and share and Pin! Here’s an example one, with many more by clicking here! I thought this one below goes along with today’s post perfectly! Enjoy!

May 6, 2013May 24, 2015

BACK TO WHERE IT ALL STARTED.

I think about you a lot more than you realize. Yes, you. My loyal blog reader and friend. Even you quiet ones who continue to read and never leave a comment. But I’m grateful you are there. And that you are still here with me on a new blog yet again.

I’m always thinking about what you like. What you don’t like. What should I blog about and share that would bless your day. Make a difference. Leave an impact and make it worth your time to spend a few minutes of your day on my blog.

I’ve gone through a lot of transitions lately. And you’ve stayed there by my side. And I’m always thinking about you trying to figure out what to share, not share. I want to create blog entries for you that inspire you. And often times I feel stumped. I don’t want to write just to write or just spit something out. I want to write because I’m inspired with hopes that it will inspire you.

Sometimes that means shifting directions completely to get back to the heart of things, which I’m doing once again this new blog as I try to navigate the best way to continue my journey with you through the world of blogging that has made up so much of my past, in addition to led me to some of my most beautiful friendships.

Through my years of blogging, I know I’ve been a little all over the place bouncing around from Scarlett Lillian Photography to Scarlett & Stephen to The Decor Diaries to now a new design and branding business I’m helping my hubby with called REmix Design & Media. Lately, I feel like my life has been that circus act where a juggler has 5 sticks and on top of it he’s trying to balance 5 spinning plates. It’s a been few years of transitions and really trying to find my way… from single girl photographer who lost the first love of her life with my dad to cancer, to finding the love of my life with Stephen, to now married wife sharing a photography business, to the hubby starting his own design website business to now, eek, the scariest of them all, transitioning into preparing for motherhood one day (keyword: “transitioning”, “one day”… not yet). I feel like it’s been a constant whirlwind of feeling like, ok, whew I finally got my act together, this is who I am… to then wham, another transition… and wait, back up… I also like doing this… let me try this out… I thought once you left your 20s, that whole soul searching thing disappeared (along with acne… both false illusions).

Searching for another creative outlet to do something that went beyond the photographer I’m typically labeled as, I created The Decor Diaries last year in the midst of a bunch of home makeovers… At the time, I was so engulfed in all those design choices, I thought it would be fun to have a blog all about it… only to discover, hmm, ok, decorating is fun, but it’s not enough to make me wake up in the morning and want to write about it on a blog. So I added in some girly things like Fashion Decor, and Life Decor and even tried to add in some Kitchen Decor posting recipes, when the bottomline is, I’m really not passionate about cooking. Cupcakes, of course, but not cooking. And fashion… sure, what girl doesn’t like fashion, but, really, at the heart of it, I certainly don’t consider myself a fashion blogger. I just don’t have the patience to keep up with all the latest trends. But yet, while it won’t be my main focus, I do still like it, and might still post an outfit of the week on this blog from time to time just for the fun of it…..

With all these things, I felt like I was trying to force myself to be something I really wasn’t deep down.

So I ate my own medicine recently rereading a book I wrote for photographers about giving God a 40-day commitment to trust Him to lead you where you are meant to be. Rereading this along with a great group in The Prosper Community, I got clarity… I need to stop trying to “be” all these things, and simply be…. me.

With that, I’ve taken things back to my roots here at my old domain, scarlettlillian.com. Not Scarlett Lillian the photographer… not The Decor Diaries by Scarlett Lillian… not Prosper by Scarlett Lillian…. not Creative Director at REmix…. just simply….. me, who yes, happens to have all these other things going on under the umbrella of who I am… And for the first time in a long time, I truly feel like, yes, this is IT! This is where my blogging home is meant to be to connect with you best.

The clarity also came in the form of an email from a Facebook friend… as I sat there confused about where God was leading me, this email told me what was really buried in the core of my heart from the beginning…

“Thank you so much, Scarlett!!! I can’t tell you how much you’ve inspired me over the past few years!”

My first reaction was “How can I be so confused about who I am and still be inspiring people?” But that word resonated with me…..“Inspired”…. that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do really. I just want to inspire people through my story I’ve shared with you on my blogs over the years. Whether it’s been through how to hold onto your faith for dear life after losing a loved one to cancer, to how true love is worth the wait, to sharing cool photography through the love stories I’m privileged to shoot with my husband, to now nervously walking down the path toward trying to become parents (uh yeah, lots more on that topic coming soon), to even silly superficial girly things like outfits of the week…. All my heart has ever craved and longed for is that somehow, God would use my life and each chapter in it for a purpose to inspire others to draw closer to His heart through the story He is writing chapter by chapter in all our lives. Even through all the criticism I’ve received taking risks along the way, it makes it worth it getting emails like the one above from you. But that’s what living a bold faith is all about. Taking risks for God’s kingdom, making it all worth it if just one life is led to knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior. While I am far from perfect, I am thankful for Jesus’ perfect grace to cover my imperfections. And by living outloud, we all give other people permission to do the same.

So welcome to yet, another new blog… I promise to stick around this one for a while (uh, it is my name after all! I can’t ditch it! ha!)….Thanks as always for your blog reader loyalty and following me to a new destination (or technically back to an old destination) as I figure things out one day at a time… I can’t promise I’m going to blog everyday as a good blogger should…. but I do promise I will blog when I’m inspired with something I want to inspire you with. In the meantime, I’m going to resume my juggling act and hope that this blog can be a relaxing place to share life with you along the way.

As always… thanks for being here with me on the journey as we figure out how to do life together…