Author: Scarlett Lillian

SAME STRUGGLE, DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCE.

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There seems to be a reoccurring theme in my text messages I’ve been receiving lately from my girl friends.

 Wanting what you can’t have.  Or what you don’t have… yet.

In one day, two girl friends blew up my phone after they just wrapped up their individual “ugly cries” for a same struggle, different circumstances.  For both, it was all about a huge yet completely different desire in their hearts, yet, they both had to witness someone else close to them get what they want/long for/are frustrated they don’t have yet.

And boy… do I know this feeling all too well.  If there’s anything infertility struggles will bring to the surface, it’s the jealousy inside you didn’t know you had that rears it’s ugly head and you find yourself bitter going, “Whoa, I just don’t recognize myself.  I don’t *want* to feel this, but… it just feels… so… unfair.”

And that’s what I told my friends in reply to their text messages.  That sometimes in life, that’s what helps us purify our hearts, to just simply get an ugly cry out and say… it’s stinkin’ unfair.

It’s unfair when others get what we want.  It’s unfair we have to wait so long for that thing we desire for so much.  It’s unfair it seems to happen so easily for some.  It’s unfair that we get “stuck” in this circumstance we don’t want to be in.  It’s unfair that others get joy from the very thing that causes us so much pain.  It’s unfair when life doesn’t go how we once dreamed it would.

Yet….

What I also told my friends in reply to their text message is the best piece of advice someone gave me earlier this year…. that as unfair as it all feels in our human frailty and comparison game, we still have a choice to simply celebrate life.  It can be the hardest thing in the world to do when our focus is stuck on the one thing we can’t have, but I’ve learned, when I take a step forward to rejoice for others despite my own current lacking, that’s where I find my strength. Strength in realizing, ok, through God’s supernatural strength, I AM capable of choosing joy over pity parties.

For me personally, I used to avoid all things baby related/pregnant women/unfollow people on Facebook who posted anything related to a sonogram or bump or announcement.  It just stung. Like a knife being twisted… over and over. I really wanted to be that friend who could celebrate with friends, but some days I just wasn’t capable because it just simply hurt too much. I’ve been through my seasons where I pushed away, withdrew, sunk into depression and had many ugly cries.  And instead, looking back, I now realize how much celebrating I was missing out on.

The enemy knows how to dangle in front of us the one thing we can’t have.  He did it to Eve with that dang apple, and he continues to do it us now.  Eve had everything she needed in that garden to live a full life, yet all she could focus on was the one thing God told her not to touch. The one thing she thought she knew better than God, her Creator, that she should have.  There from the very beginning, we learn it’s in our human nature to covet what we can’t have, but that’s exactly what Jesus died for.  To give us freedom to break free from past mistakes, past sin, past failures and instead celebrate life as a new creation through His victory on the cross. To celebrate His everyday victories.  Because when He gives a victory to someone else before we receive ours, it’s still His kingdom victory.  And He wants us to celebrate this beautiful life He died for.

It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I could end my pity party and finally attend baby showers, and wish pregnant women congratulations… genuinely… but I’m here to say, it IS possible, no matter what your circumstance, to be joyful for others who get the things you long for.  It.  Is.  Possible.

Both my friends followed up to tell me they reached out to the people in their own circumstance who got what they wanted to wish them congrats and well wishes, and how much better they felt after doing so once they released the bitterness that consumed their ugly cry earlier in the day. There’s power, and deep breaths, waiting in doing the things we think we can’t… and so much more life and love waiting when we finally leave our pity parties to join another party of celebrating with others instead!

What circumstance in your own world do you need to release bitterness from today?

PityParties

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ALL THINGS FABULOUS WITH VANESSA KROMER.

Years ago, I had the honor of documenting Vanessa’s love story, and since then, I’ve watched her grow into a stylish woman entrepreneur as she has launched her crazy popular jewelry business and now new fabulous life coaching business.  For her new website she launched last week, she hired me to take some professional #girlboss photos and I’m so excited to see the final result of how perfect the photos turned out in the website design by Ashley & Malone!  I’ve been anxiously waiting a few months to show off these photos of Vanessa, and I’m just so thrilled for this courageous step she’s taking to now open up to help other women maximize their greatest potential!  Vanessa has a heart of gold, and if you are need of a supportive cheerleader to help you navigate through your dreams and career, I highly recommend you check out Vanessa’s services!

Here’s a few of favorites from the photo shoot that made it on her website and some that I just personally love of her!

THE MARATHON RACE TOWARD MOTHERHOOD.

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Crossing the victory line in 2010 of the first and only marathon I will ever run!

Below is a video of the time 5 years I ran a marathon.

Let me repeat that… I, Scarlett Lillian, ran a marathon.

Those are words I never ever ever thought I would hear, but yet, I did it.  I actually did it.  I’ve barely run since that day 5 years ago, but I can say it’s something I marked off my bucket list.

Back when I ran the marathon, I did it in memory of my dad who passed exactly one year to the day before the race.  I also did it honor of my mom and Grandma who are both breast cancer survivors.  But I also did it for every loved one of someone who left a comment on my old blog or donated to the money I raised to run the race.  I knew if I was going to cross the victory line, I had to make the race more than about myself, but for other people.  That’s what gave me the drive to keep pushing through the pain when it got to that point in the race that I wanted to give up.

After not watching the video since I blogged it back then, recently I decided to rewatch it.  I knew it was a season where I needed to be reminded of the great and powerful things God and I accomplished together, because, as not a natural runner, I know it was only through His strength that I was able to accomplish it.  I simply needed to be reminded that yes, I have had that kind of victory in my life.  I knew back then, if I could run a marathon, in the future, I was capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.

As I rewatched the video now all this time later, I cried partially remembering how much physical pain I was in, knowing it was nothing compared to the pain my dad was in in his last days before lung cancer took his life.  But this time around, a floodgate of tears opened at the end of the video thinking of the all the unexpected pain the race to motherhood has caused me the past 4 years. Watching the marathon video, I feel like it was God’s way of saying, “This race was only the beginning to prepare you for the greater marathon ahead.”  And ever since finding out years ago that we would have struggles to start a family, I sure feel like I’ve been on a never ending marathon in my faith.  So many highs and lows, so many numbing moments, so many “I can do this!” hopeful moments that quickly change to “I just want to give up” deep depressing moments. And now, similar to the marathon, I’ve got all these miles behind me and I just want to see the dang victory line.  I can’t see the victory line just yet, but I KNOW it’s there because people tell me it’s there up ahead!  However, for right now, all I can see is the huge hill in front of me, like my marathon race had at the end of the last mile we had to climb before crossing over the finish line.  Right now, life just feels stuck in “all I see is the huge hill” mode when I so desperately just want to see the finish line so I can know all this pain, all this numbness, all these tears will one day soon end.

Yet, that’s not how God works.  Instead, He gives us promises, He gives us hope through other’s stories, He gives us cheerleaders on the sidelines encouraging us and praying for us while He simply asks us to keep taking one more step… and another… and another step… and just one more.  And with each step along the way, He promises to be there with us.  To find our strength through our joy in Him, and Him alone.  It’s not about finding joy in crossing our finish line, though what a glorious victory that always is.  But… to simply find joy in absolutely nothing but… Him.

So meanwhile… I keep pushing forward.  I keep clinging to the faith that while I can’t see the victory line with my own eyes, that through God’s promises and the beautiful stories you tell me of your own struggles to start a family that ended with a happy ending against all odds, that the victory line IS there. So thank you for being a cheerleader on my sidelines keeping me reminded of God’s goodness, and keeping me covered in prayer as I continue this marathon race toward motherhood.

I apologize ahead of time for the motion sickness moments in this video, but I do hope you’ll watch it and celebrate crossing the victory line with me in the end! And because so many of you still with me were blog followers back then, can you leave a comment and tell me if your loved one was someone I ran for back then?  I had dozens of names on my t-shirt I was running for from blog followers, and I would love to know if any of you are still with me today! 🙂

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GLAMMING IT UP WITH SHOPDANDY.

Over the years I’ve had such fun photographing this blonde beauty below.  In front of my camera, I’ve watched her fall in love, decorate her home and build a fashion empire through her blogging and Instagram.  If you are looking for a personal virtual fashion stylist to help your closet, be sure to follow Danielle on her Instagram where you can buy all her #outfitsoftheday she daily posts.  She recently relaunched her fashion blog and needed some updated branding photos for her new blog makeover, so we had fun prancing around Sweet Pete’s glammed out candy store in downtown Jacksonville for this girly shoot. Here’s a few favorites from the photo shoot!!

If you are a #girlboss who also needs new website photos, or a fashion blogger in Jacksonville, visit this link to find out more how you can get in front of my camera also!  I look forward to helping you celebrate YOU!