Scarlett-Lillian-Desktop

First things first.  My apologies.  If you’ve been a long time blog follower of mine, you are probably getting dizzy with the circle of blogs I’ve taken you around the past few years.  From my first photography blog when I was single, to the one I shared with my hubby when we used to photograph weddings together, to this blog, to dabbling in decorating, to my senior blog, and now back around here, you and I have been on a journey through the interwebs.  But you’ve always stuck with me along the way, and now here we are.  Back home.

As my welcome back gift to you, and to celebrate my blog make over, I’m giving away a $50 TARGET GIFT CARD to one lucky blog commenter!  Those details as are at the end… but first, let me open my heart to you.

Dear Friend,

Somewhere along the way, with all my different adventures, I forgot how to blog.  Let me rewind.  Somewhere along the way I forgot how to blog from the heart.  What’s the difference?

Once upon a time, circa 2007-2011, I used to be fearless in being vulnerable on my first photography blog.  I looked forward to blogging, couldn’t wait to share stories with you that God was teaching me, and loved opening my heart to you in an honest way as we connected heart strings all over the world. From doing so, others used to warn me that I shouldn’t put so much out there.  That I should hold back.  Heck, there were even those select few who made it very vocal that they didn’t like anything I ever said or did as a photographer and blogger.

Their words hurt.  In that “don’t show them it hurts” kind of way.  But deep down, it did.

So I started holding back a lot of things.  I began being selective in what I shared with the world in my “highlight reel” you scroll past on Facebook and Instagram, or even sporadic blog entries here and there.  I began protecting memories and keeping most things private because I didn’t want those special memories to be tainted by their unwanted opinions.  Their hurtful opinions and lies that didn’t really matter anyway, yet I fought to un-hear them repeat in my head.

Then something beautiful happened recently.  One of the sources of “their” hurtful words, emailed me out of the blue and apologized for what they had done all those years ago.  And they explained it had more to do with them than me.  As they explained in their email, I was the just the target of their own personal unhappiness at the time.  All this time, I had been holding back in my writing when really their hurtful words had nothing to do with me in the first place.  I immediately forgave this person, but then I got mad at myself.  I got mad because I let myself hold back all these years when my words could have been helping others like you told me in private emails over the years when you opened your heart back up to me.  But instead, I let them quiet my voice. And I got mad because I hate knowing they, all the “they’s” along the way, took that bravery from me.

I’ve been telling my husband lately, I miss the days when I was fearless with my words on my original photography blog.  As a journalism major in college, I was a writer long before I was ever a photographer. And what I miss most about those fearless days of blogging is that I learned, the more honest I was with you, you were just as honest with me as we together realized, we weren’t alone in whatever “it” was we were going through.  I learned, it’s the messiness of life that bonds us together, not the success. It’s the chasing our dreams and trying together that make us stronger than when we try to go at it alone.  When we’ve prayed each other through the valleys, life’s victories are that much sweeter when you have someone to jump up and down with. And for every negative voice, I learned there were so many more kind, loving and giving hearts across the interwebs.  Over the years, some of you became colleague friends, some became clients, but more importantly some of you who started as virtual friendships turned into real ones and became the most beautiful friendships in my life.

The past 4 years, I’ve had a specific topic heavy on my heart that I’ve been battling behind the scenes, and that I’ve simply been too afraid to blog about.  I haven’t shared much publicly because I was afraid others might judge my struggle in what is already a very painful journey I’m on.  I was afraid it would interfere with my branding as I continued photography, tried out an online fashion boutique and dabbled in decorating.  I was afraid to acknowledge publicly this heavy topic in fear that it might be this way forever.  I was afraid my faith battle with this struggle would be discouraging as I entered a deep season of daring to question everything I believe in, because I’m not at the victory line yet in this middle chapter of the story God is writing. Most days He sees more of my tears than hears my praise, yet at the same time I’m believing a big faith for Him to turn the impossible into possible.  And I just didn’t know how to tie together this season in my faith journey with my blog for my businesses along the way.  So I have stayed quiet about it all.  Until now.  And I will very soon be opening up about it in some future blog posts here at length because that deserves a separate category in and of itself. So stay tuned!

To pave the way, I decided to go back to the beginning.  Before there was Facebook, Instagram, and even MySpace, there was just my blog and I (and my adorable #poodlechild too!).  I probably shouldn’t have written about my Christian faith on my old photography blog.  But I did.  I probably shouldn’t have written about heartbreak along the way.  But I did.  I probably shouldn’t have written about feeling numb when I found out my dad was dying of cancer.  But I did. And it only came naturally to me because I was a photographer who photographed life, other’s stories, preserving their memories.  And though I had the honor of photographing the happier times of life, life isn’t perfect in between, it’s messy.  And through being open and honest with you, it’s the mess that bonded us together all those years ago, because you too had your own struggles you were going through.

And over the years, I missed having that outlet to talk to you beyond a quick Instagram or FB post.  I miss sharing our lives in a real authentic beautiful way.  Yes, I’ve still blogged here and there over the years.  I’ve tried to keep it uplifting and inspiring or about pretty superficial things like fashion or home decor, and I might still share a little bit of the pretty things from time to time, but overall it has mostly felt superficial.  I’ve felt it, you probably have too.

Moving forward, I’ve re-done my blogsite to incorporate two genres under one umbrella that have defined my life and career.  Faith and photography.

FAITH represents life, inspiration, chasing dreams, faith in oneself, but most importantly, my love for Jesus and all He’s teaching me along the way. And above all else, my greatest hope is that my lessons can inspire you to draw closer to His heart too.

PHOTOGRAPHY represents posting my client’s sessions so they can share their photos with their loved ones.  I’m still photographing seniors and still have that separate site here, but as I’ve been sharing with you about picking up my camera again earlier this year, you’ve been asking me to photograph other important moments for you.  Behind the scenes, I’ve been taking on a select number of non-senior portrait sessions, realizing moving forward, I’m actually more these days a portrait photographer for fabulous women than just only a high school senior one.  So I’m opening up the opportunity again for other genres of portrait sessions with me which you can read about here.

My favorite thing in the whole wide world to photograph?  The confidence inside of you that you are waiting for permission to bring forth.  That’s one reason I love photographing seniors, to help them realize how truly amazing they are as they venture forward to conquer big dreams. But with this, I also love photographing women of all ages on the brink of maximizing their greatest potential.  To go along with this, I’m now offering photo shoots for women who need amazing photos of themselves for their website, business, branding, or simply just to be reminded how truly fabulous they are. You can view my gallery here, and read more info about it all here!

I will also be taking on a select number of other kinds of shoots, such as engagement/anniversary sessions or fashion related shoots, but will no longer be taking on family sessions or weddings. Why do I feel like Taylor Swift nervously telling the world she said she was no longer doing country?  Though I miss her country crooning days and long golden curls, I admire that she had the guts to tell the world that she had to be true to who she was evolving into as an artist, as I find myself in the same shoes needing to stay the course of what fuels my soul creatively as a photographer. And I will always be grateful for the photo shoots of the past that shaped me as an artist.

As I press forward opening my heart to you once again, I want this blog to be a place you can be inspired to dream big dreams, a place you feel safe to share authentically in return, a place you can know you are not alone in whatever hard curveball life has been thrown your way.  I want it to be a place we not only celebrate life together and each walk away more confident ready to conquer the world, but I also want this to be a place we can virtually pull up a chair and share a cup of coffee and use each other’s shoulders to cry on.  Because that’s real life.  Not the fluffy highlight reels in our newsfeeds we compare our behind the scenes mess to.  My greatest cringe is for you to come to my blog, compare yourself thinking I have my act together, and leave feeling less unworthy.  I know in the past, I had to stop reading certain blogs because that’s how I always left, feeling not good enough.  My goal is to be real with you, show you I’m just as human, yet always point my strength back to the One who provides it.

Before I go, I want to ask you a very important question.  As I just revealed above, I want to know, what holds YOU back and how are you going to change it?

Just for today, let’s give each other permission to do what we were put here on this earth to do… shine… and shine brightly.  I believe in you.  And thank you for always believing in me!

P.S. For one lucky person who comments on my blog today & tomorrow, I’m giving away a free $50 TARGET GIFT CARD to celebrate my blog makeover!

One person will be chosen at random, and there’s just 3 simple steps to win:

  1. Follow me on Instagram if you don’t already.
  2. Tag a friend or two in my Instagram post today telling them to check out my blog!
  3. Leave a comment here on the blog answering the closing question I asked above!

One random winner will be chosen tomorrow evening (Tuesday the 2nd) and notified by email!  Good luck to you! I hope you win!  🙂

Sig

45 Comments