SOMETIMES GOD SAYS “NO!”

Stephen and I were recently visiting family in Seattle and as part of staying there, we get to see and hang out with our nephews and niece Norah, as pictured above.  On our last day, Norah, 3 years old, wanted some cereal, and here’s the dialogue that was exchanged between she and her dad.

“Daddy, I want cereal.”

“No, Norah.  We’re out of milk.”

“But Daddy, I SAID I want cereal.”

“And Norah, I SAID there’s no milk.”

Immediately, Norah broke out in tears and pouted and ran to the corner because she didn’t get her way.  As my heart broke watching my sweet little niece get sooooo upset over not getting her way, at the same time, I sat there thinking, I’m no different when it comes to my relationship with my Heavenly father.  When I ask something from God, and I don’t get it, I throw my own pity party.  I pout.  I get depressed.  I may even break out in tears.  Usually, actually, I break out in tears.  And the part that frustrates me the most is having to deal with not understanding the “why” behind the “no”, instead of just trusting my Heavenly Father knows best.

The situation with Norah and her dad came following a night where I found out the reason to a “Why not?” that I had been wondering for over 10 years.  I went through a situation in my early 20s where I went through a lot of hurt.  It wasn’t so much that the hurt came from a person, but it was more my frustration of asking God “WHY NOT?”  I hated not knowing the answer why God wasn’t answering a lot of prayers I prayed back then.  I had to chalk it up to simply being my life version of Garth Brooks’ song “Unanswered Prayers” and trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it.  Sometimes we just have to accept that God not answering a prayer is an answer to prayer in and of itself.  He sees the big picture.  He wants to protect us.  He wants to give us better than our own limited view of what we see in front of us.  He wants us to trust that when He doesn’t answer prayers, it’s because He has a reason why, whether or not we ever find out the answer.

Yet, now totally unrelated, I’m back in that place.  As I sit here praying for something that feels like is going unanswered, I’m having to trust all over again with every fiber in my being.  And it’s killing me.  And most days I don’t like it.  And I want to pout and cry and go hide in the corner like my little niece.  Yet, I then remember I’m 32, not 3, and realize how thankful I am for the grace that God continues to love me despite my own temper tantrums.